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Submitted on
May 9, 2012
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Icefall - Page 10 by AndrewBCrisp Icefall - Page 10 by AndrewBCrisp
Page 10, at long last! My apologies for taking so long to get this page out - this page took a long time to pull together.

Now for some important news. This will be the last new page for a while. I'm finally in a position to give Icefall a proper permanent home on the web, so I'll be taking the next few weeks to assemble Icefall's new site and start posting comic pages there. Once the new site is up and running, I'll resume posting new pages here as well.

In the meantime, you can keep up to date on the site happenings by checking my journal here on dA, or subscribing to my Twitter feed at @AndrewBCrisp

EDIT: Had to fix Teri's eyes in Panel 3. It should look better now.

First Page: [link]
Previous Page: [link]
Next Page: (Early July)


A reminder that I'm holding a Kiriban contest! Get the closest to pageview 11,000 and get a drawing!
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jimmysworld May 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The page is looking good to me. The third panel didn't jump out as much to me as the last one on the page did. I'm having a hard time figuring out what is happening to him in that one. If he fell to the floor or what but it looks like he is having a tummy ache.
Hm. In that panel Forster has just bounced off the tunnel floor and his arm is in pain from the impact (well, I suppose his whole left side would be smarting but I chose to focus on the arm). So he's clutching his hurt upper arm.

I'm wondering exactly how to fix the panel so it's more clear. This is my first action-centric page, and I'm still figuring out how to handle such events. I put in some effect lines in the panel before it to indicate the impact, but perhaps they need to be more prominent? Maybe some motion lines in the final panel to show Forster's arc of travel?

Thoughts anyone?
jimmysworld May 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe you should try doing the panel from a different angle. The overhead view is what threw me off and what was happening to him in that panel. It is both of them falling to the floor there, right? If it is, you should draw them both like you did in the previous panel before that one in question. Or a better option now that I'm thinking of it, draw one panel with both of them falling down and showing the hurt and pain in that one panel. I don't know. It's just a few thoughts. I don't know what you plan in the next few pages.
amberchrome May 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Another good page, in most respects. The expression in the third panel, though, seemed a bit "off" to me, maybe it's just the eyes but I sort of went "huh?" If you're having facial expression difficulties, the "Artnatomy" site might prove helpful. I just rediscovered it again after a bit of a search.

Ah, I think I see what you're getting at. The eyes are not looking straight ahead like I intended, but are looking at different directions. I didn't notice it while working on it, but it just jumps out now.

I'm fixing it now and will post the revised page in a minute.

As for the "Artnatomy" site, I'll give it a look - one can never have too much reference material! Thanks!
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